Alone together chapter 12 - Confessions

 Everybody has secrets. Secrets. do not however always remain secret as the person/people who hold them, often feel a desire, a niggling inside them that they can not hold in and so it spills out to anyone that picks away at your defenses.  I have often been told something that I have to admit, I couldn't keep a secret, somethings are often so juicy that they cannot be held in for long. If I myself have ever had a secret, I have often felt the need to just tell someone, anyone, just because it is eating away at my insides and I just need to get it out of my mouth, just for someone to listen to and maybe give feedback.

     Today on the world wide web, there are many websites such as "post secrets", where millions of people are able to go and post anonymously there deepest and darkest secrets without the possibility of anyone finding out who wrote it. Post secrets allows people to go to a place where people can tell other people online what they are thinking/doing/done, and in a way asking for feedback. It is a place where people want to go to see that they are not strange  and what they have done is not completely out of the ordinary and is accepted and has been done by others out there.

     Why do people do this though? go on the internet to expose their little dark secrets that they do not want to share face to face with others. The internet has a magical way of allowing people to feel connected with other users out in the world. It has the ability to make you feel loved or hated, by what you write and say. Turkle explains that "people's differences are not so different from others on the web". It is also a way of venting their frustration about their day to day lives and instead of screaming at their boss they despise, they can simple vent their fury on the web and walk away relaxed and still in a job.

     Turkle give many examples of how these confessions talking sites have also been a way of people who are depressed with life just need someone to talk or just listen to. Someone who doesn't have any close friends or want to talk anyone close as they might feel judged will see talking to a complete stranger as a way of not being judged, being graded. "when we make ourselves vulnerable, we expect to be nurtured" Turkle p235.

     Another downside to this is that often when we are at our most vulnerable, pouring our hearts out to complete strangers, we are open to being attacked with abuse and hatred which as a result can often make the already upset person in more miserable. Today, there int many celebrities that aren't often hated upon either on twitter, you tube etc. It is now becoming more common for your everyday average Joe who likes to post comments , videos or articles online."anonymity does not protect us from emotional investment"

     Of course, what people have to realize when reading these confessions is that they might not be 100% true and in many ways exaggerated. I am not sure if this is a phrase said in America, but in England, we would say in a situation like this "take it with a pinch of salt". Whether these stories are true or not, they do make the readers feel excepted, which is what people want. To be excepted.

     To conclude, there are many positives and negatives to online confessions sites. I can see why people feel the need to express confessions or secrets to unknown individuals as a way of revealing stress or that niggling itch that is wanting to be scratched at so much. Turkle uses many examples to explain how many people see it as a way of expressing their feeling without being caught or judged. I have not every really checked into any of these sites, but after reading this chapter I can see how attractive sites are where you can tell the world your secrets.